Tagged Humor

Children

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.

— Socrates

It cracks me up when I see the author of this quote. I taught high school for two years and can say that at least some things never change. 🙂

Walking

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.

— Ellen DeGeneres

Suburbia

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

— Bill Vaughn

The best evidence for the existence of intelligent life

The best evidence for the existence of intelligent life in the universe lies in the fact that they have steadfastly refused to contact us.

— Richard Boyd

I saw this quote as a letter-to-the-editor in one of the San Francisco Bay Area papers several years ago. I love the twisted logic and the inherent presumptions that it contains. Some attempts at logical arguments for the existence of God share these logical fallacies.

Winning Arguments

I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.

— Dave Barry

In some ways, Dave Barry is saying the same thing, in his comedic genius sort of way, that John Morely said yesterday.

Let us pray that we choose correctly

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction.

Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

— Woody Allen