Walk A Mile In My Moccasins

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his moccasins.

— Source: my mom, although usually attributed to Native American sources but could be from ancient Rome and may have roots in Christ’s teaching in the Bible.

Even though this quote is an oldie but a goodie, it seemed fitting for my three day run with aphorisms on empathy. Loosely defined, empathy is the capability to share and understand another person’s emotions and feelings.

I believe that empathy is one of the most powerful tools in leadership, business, and life. By putting yourself in “the other person’s shoes” you can have richer interactions and make better decisions on every front. I am much more effective as a leader if I imagine how my style and actions are perceived by those I am endeavoring to lead. The products that I create or the services that I provide are much more valuable if put myself inside the mind of my customers as I create and deliver them.

On a very practical level, I was sitting in the audience of several presentations last week in which the speaker had filled his PowerPoint slides with so much text that they were barely readable. Worse, each click to a new slide presented me with a dilemma: should I tune out the speaker so as to absorb what is written on the slides? or should I ignore what is showing on the slides so as to listen to what the speaker is saying? Why didn’t the speaker imagine for one minute what it was going to be like to sit in the audience of their presentation? I know they put a lot of thought into what they wanted to tell me. Why didn’t they put a little thought into what it would be like to hear their message?

Empathy can be learned (I took a course on it in graduate school). Try it. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes, if only for a moment.

Similar Posts

  • Contentment

    There are two ways to get enough: one is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.

    — G. K Chesterton

    When Linda and I returned from our stint in London, we landed in New Jersey. Within a few weeks of our US re-entry, and for reasons that still escape us, we bought a beautiful, 2,400 square foot house with a large basement on the north side of Princeton. Despite the delightful, well-groomed neighborhood, we quickly began to discover the folly of our ways. The sweeping windows that let in so much light in the spring became a greenhouse in the heat of summer. It seemed cavernous to heat and cool. Finding enough furniture to fill all the rooms took the better part of a year. …

  • Gadget Distraction

    What’s happening here, now, isn’t as important to me as what could be happening anywhere else.

    — Renny Gleeson

    I watched Renny Gleeson in a brilliant, short Ted Talk this morning talk about the sneaky, anti-social behaviors we demonstrate with our smartphones. When I am sitting in a meeting, or at an event, and I can’t resist the urge to pull out my iPhone and check my email or peruse my Twitter updates, I am actually telling those around me that what is happening in the here and now is not as important as literally anything that could come across that tiny screen.

  • “The Market” vs “The Economy”

    With all the volatility in the stock market lately it is a good time to remind ourselves that “the market” is not the same as “the economy.” The best that I can tell — at least as of the last few years — “the market” has contracted to a relatively small group of:

    • professional traders
    • automated computer programs
    • institutional investors
    • hedge fund managers

    This tight-knit circle trades amongst itself with very little relevance to what we think of as “the economy.” In contrast to this closed group, the economy is the vast sum of the creation and delivery of the goods and services we want and need.

    It seems to me that the Dow Jones Industrial Average and S&P 500 bears little connection to these things these days.

    Don’t be afraid. Now is the time to be bold. If you don’t like the economy, let’s go out and make one of our own.

  • Canada Relations

    Geography has made us neighbors, history has made us friends, economics has made us partners, and necessity has made us allies.

    — President Robert F. Kennedy on US / Canada relations.

    The US President’s first foreign trip is highly symbolic. Yesterday President Obama reinforced a long standing tradition and made Canada the destination for his first foreign trip. President Bush’s first foreign trip was to Mexico. US / Canada relations were strained throughout his entire term. Presidents Jimmy Carter and Gerald Ford never visited Canada at all.

    Granted, this trip was more than a pit stop than an extended visit. He arrived in the morning to meet with Prime Minister Stephen Harper, ate through a working lunch, held a joint news conference, met briefly at the airport with the leader of Canada’s opposition party, and was back home in the White House in time for dinner.

    Even though he only had time to pop in for a quick chat, I am glad that my native country is back at the top of the list for our new US President.

  • Steinbeck on Writing

    I think there is only one book to a man. It is true that a man may change or be so warped that he becomes another man and has another book but I do not think that it is so with me.

    — John Steinbeck, Journals of a Novel: The East of Eden Letters

    East of Eden was the first book that I read by Steinbeck. It was moving and well written and rich with characters. Then I discovered Journals of a Novel: The East of Eden Letters and suddenly I felt I had been given a back stage pass to the mind of a writer.

    Steinbeck had already written Of Mice and Men (1937) and The Grapes of Wrath (1939) when he set out to write East of Eden (1951). In the intervening years he lived through two divorces and served as a war correspondent. Despite the critical success of his earlier works, his standing as a major novelist had faded. As today’s quote reveals, Steinbeck also felt that he had not yet told the one story that was within him. His editor, Pascal Covici, did all that he could to encourage Steinbeck. Covici sent Steinbeck a number of notebooks and instructed Steinbeck to use them to write.

  • FedEx Trumps UPS

    A few years ago Book of Joe inspired me to open a personal FedEx account. His logic was impeccable and extremely practical. Since then I have shipped numerous packages enabled by the wonderful tools on my account at the FedEx web site. Some of the outstanding features include:

    • Create the order online.
    • Print the shipping lable.
    • Send emails to yourself, the recipient, and any third party when the item is picked up, delivered and if there is any interruption in the delivery.
    • Track your shipments based on your account history.

    A few weeks ago we moved to Chapel Hill, North Carolina. …

12 Comments

  1. I associate this saying pointing out the difference between perspective taking and empathy. Standing in someones shoes is perspective taking; walking a mile gives you the wearyness, joys, dangers of another’s journey, or empathy. cheers..jb

  2. So glad to be reminded of this quote. I’m in a dilemma at the moment because my boss has been trying to get rid of me for the last 3 years (I’m 63) and has reported me spuriously of being incompetent. I have a meeting on Tuesday to prove myself and came across your site when I suggested to my son that I take a pair of shoes of each person to the meeting to prove to them that I am a person and not just another number on the computer. Thank you so much
    Margaret

  3. I would like to know if you have the words of the complete poem. I cannot find it anywhere .

    thanks
    Lee

  4. Lee

    Thanks for the comment. I was not aware there was a complete poem. If you find it, please point me towards it.
    -Heather

  5. The scripture for tomorrow’s sermon will be taken from Matthew 5:43 where Jesus tells us to love our enemies. Walking in someone’s moccasins is the 1st step in following Jesus’command.

    Blessings
    Pastor Steve

  6. I love this Quote..it has been told to me a many times and also came from my American Native background family history. Thanks for sharing. julie

  7. I have been a pastor for 50 years and love to find quotes that come from the human family as they enrich our lives with such great depth. They also create a solidarity among us all. My grandmother use this quote often and from it (and her many examples) I grew a sense of empathy that has stayed with me all my life. Thanks for helping us all stay “connected” as those who seek wisdom for the human journey we all take.

  8. Love this saying, wish I could find it on ,a plague to hang on the wall.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.