Walk A Mile In My Moccasins

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his moccasins.

— Source: my mom, although usually attributed to Native American sources but could be from ancient Rome and may have roots in Christ’s teaching in the Bible.

Even though this quote is an oldie but a goodie, it seemed fitting for my three day run with aphorisms on empathy. Loosely defined, empathy is the capability to share and understand another person’s emotions and feelings.

I believe that empathy is one of the most powerful tools in leadership, business, and life. By putting yourself in “the other person’s shoes” you can have richer interactions and make better decisions on every front. I am much more effective as a leader if I imagine how my style and actions are perceived by those I am endeavoring to lead. The products that I create or the services that I provide are much more valuable if put myself inside the mind of my customers as I create and deliver them.

On a very practical level, I was sitting in the audience of several presentations last week in which the speaker had filled his PowerPoint slides with so much text that they were barely readable. Worse, each click to a new slide presented me with a dilemma: should I tune out the speaker so as to absorb what is written on the slides? or should I ignore what is showing on the slides so as to listen to what the speaker is saying? Why didn’t the speaker imagine for one minute what it was going to be like to sit in the audience of their presentation? I know they put a lot of thought into what they wanted to tell me. Why didn’t they put a little thought into what it would be like to hear their message?

Empathy can be learned (I took a course on it in graduate school). Try it. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes, if only for a moment.

Similar Posts

  • Change

    If you want to defeat any kind of vicious fraud–comply with it literally, adding nothing of your own to disguise its nature.

    — Ayn Rand, Spoken by Francisco d’Aconia to Hank Rearden in Atlas Shrugged

    I have been a leader in a number of organizations that were in dire need of change. Building a “case for change” is usually difficult. People seem compelled to continue in their dysfunctional ways despite their inefficacy or discomfort. I have learned that sometimes you have to let things fall to the floor and break before you can pick up the shards and create the change that the organization so desperately needs.

    Atlas Shrugged struck me as a testament to this approach to change management, albeit with a more poetic and metaphorical approach.

  • Embrace It!

    I love it when I meet people who understand winter, as in the only way to thrive during winter is to take it head on, get out in it. Dress warm and get outside. If you are cold, dress warmer, get moving.

    — Jeff Smith, editor, Traverse, Northern Michigan’s Magazine

    From A Cross Country Ski Tale

    I’m a northern girl. I was born and raised in an environment whose seasons were punctuated by the first frost and the spring thaw … and the highlight of the year was the day the ice broke on the river.

    The secret to happiness in these “harsh” environments is to meet them head on. Dress warm and get outside. Do not let the weather control your emotions or your happiness. If you are cold, dress warmer, get moving.

    But isn’t life itself a harsh environment? Life is hard. The secret to happiness is the same. Embrace it. Meet it head on. Get out in it. Dress warm. If you are cold, dress warmer, get moving.

  • The South is a Place

    The South is a place. East, west, and north are nothing but directions.

    — Letter to the editor, Richmond Times Dispatch, 1995

    I am reading the delightful book Confederates in the Attic. The quote above opens the second chapter.

    When I lived in Colorado I took every opportunity to explore the magnificent hiking trails and striking mountain vistas offered by the Rocky Mountains. When I lived in Albuquerque I breathed deep to absorb the Native American spirit still alive in The Land of Enchantment. And when I lived in Princeton, NJ, I savored Washington’s Crossing and then immersed myself in the local history surrounding the Revolutionary War.

  • |

    Celebrate art and culture. It defines who we are.

    When you live in times of authoritarian rule one of the first things that end up in the cross hairs is culture. We believe firmly that artists and writers and dramatists and actors and musicians play a vital role in defending the integrity of who we are as human beings.

    — Jeremy Scahill, on the Trump’s Cabinet of Killers and Why Orange is the New Anti-Black episode of The Intercepted.

    I have never been more grateful for organizations like the ACLU and the plethora of lawyers we have in this country. Likewise, I am inspired by the power of our marches and protests as we stand up for our values. But, in addition to the direct tangible actions we can take, we also need a 100 million voices writing and singing and laughing and, in general, sounding our barbaric yawps over the roofs of the world.

12 Comments

  1. I associate this saying pointing out the difference between perspective taking and empathy. Standing in someones shoes is perspective taking; walking a mile gives you the wearyness, joys, dangers of another’s journey, or empathy. cheers..jb

  2. So glad to be reminded of this quote. I’m in a dilemma at the moment because my boss has been trying to get rid of me for the last 3 years (I’m 63) and has reported me spuriously of being incompetent. I have a meeting on Tuesday to prove myself and came across your site when I suggested to my son that I take a pair of shoes of each person to the meeting to prove to them that I am a person and not just another number on the computer. Thank you so much
    Margaret

  3. I would like to know if you have the words of the complete poem. I cannot find it anywhere .

    thanks
    Lee

  4. Lee

    Thanks for the comment. I was not aware there was a complete poem. If you find it, please point me towards it.
    -Heather

  5. The scripture for tomorrow’s sermon will be taken from Matthew 5:43 where Jesus tells us to love our enemies. Walking in someone’s moccasins is the 1st step in following Jesus’command.

    Blessings
    Pastor Steve

  6. I love this Quote..it has been told to me a many times and also came from my American Native background family history. Thanks for sharing. julie

  7. I have been a pastor for 50 years and love to find quotes that come from the human family as they enrich our lives with such great depth. They also create a solidarity among us all. My grandmother use this quote often and from it (and her many examples) I grew a sense of empathy that has stayed with me all my life. Thanks for helping us all stay “connected” as those who seek wisdom for the human journey we all take.

  8. Love this saying, wish I could find it on ,a plague to hang on the wall.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.