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Running the Country
ByHeatherToo bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair.
— George Burns
Shoeless Paraprosdokian
ByHeatherBefore you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, you will be a mile away and he won’t have any shoes.
— Unknown
How could I resist? After yesterday’s exhortation to embrace empathy, it seemed only fitting to also quote a brilliant variation on the old moccasins quote.
It turns out that the above quote is a perfect example of a paraprosdokian – a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe the first part. Other good examples include my previous post from Ellen DeGeneres or my all time favorite, “When I die I want to go peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did . . . and not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”
Theory of the Universe
ByHeatherThere is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
Christmas Rum Cake
ByHeatherI have had this recipe since the early days of email. It is not original but it is de-licious nonetheless. Enjoy . . .
Calculating the Distance to California
ByHeatherSomething like 90% of the nations fruit and vegetables are grown in California’s Central Valley. Here is a simple calculator to determine how far you are from this fertile land:
- Buy a 1/2 pint of raspberries from your local supermarket
- Count how many raspberries are moldy
- Multiply the number of moldy raspberries by 250. This is your distance in miles from California.
For example, I am in Northern Michigan this week. I counted at least 9 moldy raspberries in the pack. 9 x 250 = 2,500. This is the approximate distance from my location to California’s Central Valley.
Q.E.D.