Listen with Intensity

In Writing Down the Bones, Natalie Goldberg’s classic collection of meditations on finding the writer within, she has an essay on talking and listening with friends as a means of bringing stories to life. She says,

Because of the intensity of her listening, the story, which I had told many times, took on a great brilliance. I remember the light off the wineglasses, the taste of my chocolate mousse.

We often think that our friends are interesting because of them: because of their personality or because of their stories. But there’s more to it than that. We are part of the dance. Our engagement is part of the equation. How interesting we find our friends also depends on how intensely we listen to them. When we engage others deeply and listen intensely their stories come alive and their personalities become more vibrant.

Who knew?

Similar Posts

  • Change

    If you want to defeat any kind of vicious fraud–comply with it literally, adding nothing of your own to disguise its nature.

    — Ayn Rand, Spoken by Francisco d’Aconia to Hank Rearden in Atlas Shrugged

    I have been a leader in a number of organizations that were in dire need of change. Building a “case for change” is usually difficult. People seem compelled to continue in their dysfunctional ways despite their inefficacy or discomfort. I have learned that sometimes you have to let things fall to the floor and break before you can pick up the shards and create the change that the organization so desperately needs.

    Atlas Shrugged struck me as a testament to this approach to change management, albeit with a more poetic and metaphorical approach.

  • Hurry

    When you want to hurry something, that means you no longer care about it and want to get on to other things.

    — Robert Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

  • Growth

    Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell.

    Edward Abbey

    Perhaps it is my natural temperament to do things deliberately and with purpose (after all, it is the tortoise who wins the race). Maybe it is my persistent skepticism. Quite possibly it is an outgrowth of my intuitive personality type (INTJ). Whatever the reason, I have always been resistant to Wall Street’s incessant demand for growth from public companies.

  • Gorilla Marketing

    I am an avid fan of podcasts. I listen to many hours a week of interesting and compelling content completely on my own schedule. The TWiT Network produces some of the best, including This Week in Tech, MacBreak Weekly and Roz Rows the Pacific. Leo Laporte is a master behind the microphone.

    Leo continues to chase profitability by adding an ever-increasing array of sponsors for his “netcasting” ventures. Drobo and GoToMeeting are recent additions and he is pushing the boundaries of tolerance with the seemingly endless droning on about Visa’s security protection for online fraud. …

  • Aim for the sea…

    A ship is safe in the harbor, but that is not what ships are built for.

    — William Shedd (or possibly Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper)

    I taught high school in the early 80’s. I had this quote hanging on my classroom wall in one of those inspirational-type posters with a sailboat setting out to sea. I suppose I was trying to inspire my students to reach for adventure as they launched themselves into the world. I still draw inspiration from these words every time I am faced with the choice of a challenge and an adventure or playing it safe.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.