You ask me why I spend my life writing

ByHeather

You ask me why I spend my life writing?
Do I find entertainment?
Is it worthwhile?
Above all, does it pay?
If not, then, is there a reason? …

I write only because there is a voice within me that will not be still.

— Sylvia Plath

For ten years during my late twenties and early thirties I kept a journal. I started writing modestly in college and it eventually grew into such a compulsion that I would often write for hours a day. The pen seemed to have a mind of its own. Sometimes I would start a sentence not knowing where it was going, only to be amazed at the journey that it would launch. Even as computers started to enter my life, I wrote everything longhand. There was something magic about the connection between my thoughts and the paper, linked through the pen clasped in my fingertips.

Occasionally I would ponder the sense of it all. Why was I writing so incessantly? I could not see where this was going and yet I could not help myself. Was I a budding novelist in search of a plot line? Sylvia gave me permission to not worry about the answer to why.

I journal only infrequently now. In retrospect, I believe that the writing process was a catharsis. Some young people explore the world through Eurail passes and youth hostels in order to find themselves. I chose the refuge of books and the pen to clear my mind and find my way. The experience of journalling  is still cathartic but the voice that drove me to write earlier in my life is quieter now. She is more at peace with herself and I have a clearer sense of what I want to do with my life.

Game on!

Similar Posts

  • Checks and Balances

    ByHeather

    Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

    — Lord Acton

    I was born in Canada and came to the US between my sophomore and junior year in high school. One of my first courses in my newly adopted country was high school civics. I learned with a newcomer’s sense of awe about the three branches of government and their important role in each checking the power of the other. It is highly attributed that this system of checks and balances is the genius of the America.

    In the intervening years since those wide-eyed high school years I have been a casual observer of the reality that power and money are self preserving. …

  • Gadget Distraction

    ByHeather

    What’s happening here, now, isn’t as important to me as what could be happening anywhere else.

    — Renny Gleeson

    I watched Renny Gleeson in a brilliant, short Ted Talk this morning talk about the sneaky, anti-social behaviors we demonstrate with our smartphones. When I am sitting in a meeting, or at an event, and I can’t resist the urge to pull out my iPhone and check my email or peruse my Twitter updates, I am actually telling those around me that what is happening in the here and now is not as important as literally anything that could come across that tiny screen.

  • Embrace It!

    ByHeather

    I love it when I meet people who understand winter, as in the only way to thrive during winter is to take it head on, get out in it. Dress warm and get outside. If you are cold, dress warmer, get moving.

    — Jeff Smith, editor, Traverse, Northern Michigan’s Magazine

    From A Cross Country Ski Tale

    I’m a northern girl. I was born and raised in an environment whose seasons were punctuated by the first frost and the spring thaw … and the highlight of the year was the day the ice broke on the river.

    The secret to happiness in these “harsh” environments is to meet them head on. Dress warm and get outside. Do not let the weather control your emotions or your happiness. If you are cold, dress warmer, get moving.

    But isn’t life itself a harsh environment? Life is hard. The secret to happiness is the same. Embrace it. Meet it head on. Get out in it. Dress warm. If you are cold, dress warmer, get moving.

  • A Few Good Men

    ByHeather

    Son, we live in a world that has walls and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who’s gonna do it? You? You lieutenant Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that Santiago’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.

    We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick a weapon and stand a post.

    — Aaron Sorkin, monologue by Jack Nicholson’s character in A Few Good Men.

    No apologies. This quote is simply a guilty pleasure.

  • More Steinbeck on Writing

    ByHeather

    Sometimes in a man or a woman an awareness takes place — not very often and always inexplainable. There are no words for it because there is no one ever to tell. This is a secret not kept a secret, but locked in wordlessness. The craft or art of writing is the clumsy attempt to find symbols for the wordlessness. In utter loneliness a writer tries to explain the inexplainable. And sometimes if he is very fortunate and if the time is right, a very little of what he is trying to do trickles through.

    — John Steinbeck, Journals of a Novel: The East of Eden Letters

    This is another installment from Steinbeck’s journals written as he was giving birth to East of Eden. It has echos from my Julian Schnabel quote when he said “That is true about all art. The conflict is to try and take what is inside of you and put it inside somebody else.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.