Financial Rigor

While in graduate school at Purdue many years ago a friend and I made a road trip to the west coast. Along the way we took the opportunity to visit the Grand Canyon with a goal of hiking down to the canyon floor. Although we were experienced hikers, neither of us were in the best of shape, and we were further weakened by the several days we had just spent driving across the country in a Honda Civic. Hiking all the way down to the canyon floor and all the way back up in a single day was strongly discouraged by the park authorities. Since campsites on the canyon floor were reserved far into the future, we were fortunate to snag a reservation for a campsite that was a couple of miles up from the canyon floor on a different trail. Our plan was to hike down one trail all the way to the bottom, take in the grandeur, then hike back up a few miles to camp for the night. The next day we would hike back out and continue our westward journey.

There are two ways to get enough: one is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.

— G. K Chesterton

When Linda and I returned from our stint in London, we landed in New Jersey. Within a few weeks of our US re-entry, and for reasons that still escape us, we bought a beautiful, 2,400 square foot house with a large basement on the north side of Princeton. Despite the delightful, well-groomed neighborhood, we quickly began to discover the folly of our ways. The sweeping windows that let in so much light in the spring became a greenhouse in the heat of summer. It seemed cavernous to heat and cool. Finding enough furniture to fill all the rooms took the better part of a year. …

I lived in Denver in the late ’80s. At one point I met an acquaintance who invited me to attend his monthly book club. I was in a heavy reading phase and was excited about the prospect of connecting with fellow book lovers. I was encouraged to bring a book and plan on sharing a favorite passage.

The book I happened to be reading at the time was The Death of Ivan Ilyich, and the passage I picked to read turned out to be pretty heavy.

I grew up in a home where showing emotions was not encouraged. As I set out on my own I was proud of my ability to maintain an even keel. But as time wore on I came to realize that holding my emotions in check was just a cloak for numbness. A dear friend offered me this quote and I was suddenly free.

In order to soar to emotional heights I had to allow myself the possibility of plunging to the deepest depths. Goodbye even keel. I learned to embrace the lows and reveled in the highs. Sometimes you have to live with the rain. But when the sun eventually comes out — and it always does — the warmth and the light are more glorious than ever.