Listen with Intensity

In Writing Down the Bones, Natalie Goldberg’s classic collection of meditations on finding the writer within, she has an essay on talking and listening with friends as a means of bringing stories to life. She says,

Because of the intensity of her listening, the story, which I had told many times, took on a great brilliance. I remember the light off the wineglasses, the taste of my chocolate mousse.

We often think that our friends are interesting because of them: because of their personality or because of their stories. But there’s more to it than that. We are part of the dance. Our engagement is part of the equation. How interesting we find our friends also depends on how intensely we listen to them. When we engage others deeply and listen intensely their stories come alive and their personalities become more vibrant.

Who knew?

Similar Posts

  • Just Be

    Sometimes the best thing we can do is to stop “doing” and just be. You don’t have to “be” anything. We don’t have to “be” quiet, or productive, or useful, or nice. Just be.

    In his brilliant album that gave music and lyrics to Richard Bach’s Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Neil Diamond wrote:

    Be, as a page that aches for a word that speaks on a theme that is timeless.

  • Man on Wire

    When I see three oranges, I juggle; when I see two towers, I walk.

    — Philippe Petit

    I watched the wonderful documentary Man on Wire last night. It is the inspiring story of Philippe Petit and his lifelong passion to walk a tightrope between the twin towers of the World Trade Center. His dream began even before the towers were built and culminated in a 45 minute walk in the sky on August 7, 1974. The film is especially bittersweet with all of the behind-the-scenes details of the twin towers, knowing their ultimate fate.

    Philippe’s quote above was in response to the incessant pleas by the press for an answer to “Why?” There is no why, he insisted. When he sees oranges, he juggles. When he sees two towers, he walks.

  • M*A*S*H

    Know this. You can cut me off from the civilized world. You can incarcerate me with two moronic cellmates. You can torture me with your thrice-daily swill. But you cannot break the spirit of a Winchester. My voice shall be heard from this wilderness, and I shall be delivered from this fetid and festering sewer.

    Charles Emerson Winchester, III

    I became a giant fan of M*A*S*H during my undergraduate years in college. By the time I tuned in the show had been on the air for many seasons and had found its stride. Each night the dorm lounge would fill up with fans as we all partook of the syndicated re-runs punctuated once a week with a fresh fix. The writing was superb, the acting a joy to watch. The storylines were moving and yet funny. It seems like every character was my favorite. I have seen each episode so many times I can recite the entire plot line within seconds of seeing the opening sequence.

    The quote above from Charles Emerson Winchester is one of my favorites. …

  • Embrace It!

    I love it when I meet people who understand winter, as in the only way to thrive during winter is to take it head on, get out in it. Dress warm and get outside. If you are cold, dress warmer, get moving.

    — Jeff Smith, editor, Traverse, Northern Michigan’s Magazine

    From A Cross Country Ski Tale

    I’m a northern girl. I was born and raised in an environment whose seasons were punctuated by the first frost and the spring thaw … and the highlight of the year was the day the ice broke on the river.

    The secret to happiness in these “harsh” environments is to meet them head on. Dress warm and get outside. Do not let the weather control your emotions or your happiness. If you are cold, dress warmer, get moving.

    But isn’t life itself a harsh environment? Life is hard. The secret to happiness is the same. Embrace it. Meet it head on. Get out in it. Dress warm. If you are cold, dress warmer, get moving.

  • Dear United: It Didn’t Have To Be This Way

    Last summer I had a Delta flight out of La Guardia bound for Detroit. It was a Saturday morning and the airport was swarming with passengers, the gate area for my flight was like a mosh pit. As we approached the time to board, a gate agent announced that the flight was oversold by seven passengers. An audible groan rippled through the waiting area as we all clutched our boarding passes and jockeyed further for position in the boarding process. This was not going to be easy.

    The Delta / traveler negotiation process began when the agent offered the usual $400 travel voucher for anyone willing to take a later flight. In a delightful New York accent, a lady standing beside me smirked, “They’ll pay more.” Sure enough, moments later they announced that a $500 voucher was now available to any travelers with flexible travel plans. I smiled as I acknowledged the prophetic power of my fellow traveler. As my plans did not feel flexible, I gratefully made my way onto the plane.

    After the plane was fully loaded, with the last few passengers jamming bags into the overhead bins, a voice rang out over the airplane announcement system that Delta still needed one more passenger to give up their seat. This time, however, they had upped the ante.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.