Walking

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.

– Ellen DeGeneres


Eating

Never eat more than you can lift.

– Miss Piggy

Intelligence

The best evidence for the existence of intelligent life in the universe lies in the fact that they have steadfastly refused to contact us.

– Richard Boyd

I saw this quote as a letter-to-the-editor in one of the San Francisco Bay Area papers several years ago. I love the twisted logic and the inherent presumptions that it contains. Some attempts at logical arguments for the existence of God share these logical fallacies.

I do not know who Richard Boyd is. At the time the newspaper simply indicated that he was from Berkeley. A quick Google search yields a philosophy professor at Cornell who previously taught at UC Berkeley. Could be. In any case, it is a delightful quote that I have repeated dozens of times.

Thank you Mr. Boyd.

Winning Arguments

I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.

– Dave Barry

In some ways, Dave Barry is saying the same thing, in his comedic genius sort of way, that John Morely said yesterday.

Two Roads Diverge

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction.

Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

– Woody Allen

Possessions

I started with nothing and I still have most of it left.

– Unknown

Background on 2009 Quote-A-Day Calendar

The Squeaky Wheel

The squeaky wheel doesn’t always get the grease. Sometimes it gets replaced.

– Vic Gold

I’m just sayin’ . . .

Lending

It is better to give than to lend . . . and it costs about the same.

– Unknown

M*A*S*H

Know this. You can cut me off from the civilized world. You can incarcerate me with two moronic cellmates. You can torture me with your thrice-daily swill. But you cannot break the spirit of a Winchester. My voice shall be heard from this wilderness, and I shall be delivered from this fetid and festering sewer.

– Charles Emerson Winchester, III

I became a giant fan of M*A*S*H during my undergraduate years in college. By the time I tuned in the show had been on the air for many seasons and had found its stride. Each night the dorm lounge would fill up with fans as we all partook of the syndicated re-runs punctuated once a week with a fresh fix. The writing was superb, the acting a joy to watch. The storylines were moving and yet funny. It seems like every character was my favorite. I have seen each episode so many times I can recite the entire plot line within seconds of seeing the opening sequence.

The quote above from Charles Emerson Winchester is one of my favorites. Charles has just arrived at the 4077th after being tricked into staying in Korea. Needless to say he is not adjusting well. When he realizes that his posh connections may not get him out of Korea he summons his dignity and delivers his soliloquy with panache and pride. I think it is the way he cocks his head and turns at the end that cemented my love for his character. I couldn’t find a clip on You Tube but the scene occurs in the first episode of season six if you ever get the chance to watch the show.

All of the characters on M*A*S*H were brilliant at what they did. (Well okay, almost everyone. Frank Burns left a little to be desired in the capabilities department.) I think I like the show so much because it portrays a team of highly talented people trapped in an undesirable place doing important work. Maybe the fact that I was living in Indiana at the time had something to do with my affinity for the show.

Magic

Magic is a vanishing art.

– Bumper Sticker

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