Rejecting Rejection

I have always been one to create my own reality. My mom has told me that, as a child, I would often raise my hand and say, “I reject that.”

I found this letter on the tubes today. Apparently this letter was never sent, but it makes me think as much as it makes me smile.

Herbert A. Millington
Chair – Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16.  After careful considerations, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters.  With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitson’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time.  Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen

Christmas Rum Cake

Ingredients
Directions
  1. Before starting, sample rum to check quality. Good, isn’t it? Now proceed.
  2. Select large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc.
  3. Check rum again. It must be just right. To be sure rum is of proper quality, pour one level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.
  4. With electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
  5. Add 1 seaspoon of thusar and beat again.
  6. Meanwhile, make sure rum is still alrighty. Try another cup. Open second quart if necessary.
  7. Add leggs, 2 cups of fried druit and beat til high. If druit gets stuck in beaters, pry loose with drewscriber.
  8. Sample rum again, checking for tonscisticity.
  9. Next, sift 3 cups pepper or salt (really doesn’t matter).
  10. Sample rum.
  11. Sift 1/2 pint lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add 1 bablespoon of brown sugar-or whatever color you can find. Wix mell. Grease oven. Turn cake pan to 350 gredees. Pour mess into boven and ake.
  12. Check run again and bo to ged.

..ADN HALPIE HOLIGLAZE TWO YA’ALL!

 

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I have had this recipe since the early days of email. It is not original but it is de-licious nonetheless. Enjoy . . .